How to raise a confident child.
Every parent wishes for their little one to grow up to be an independent, self-sufficient and confident adult; who is proud of their achievements and approaches challenges with enthusiasm. By empowering your little one to be happy with themselves you can enhance their self-esteem.
We’ll be talking about certain aspects of being satisfied with one’s self in this article. They can be categorized as -
- Connectivity
- Uniqueness
- Power
- Role Modelling.
These 4 things are very important for you as a parent to understand and inculcate in your child. Let’s discuss them in detail.
Connectivity
A sense of connectivity refers to your child feeling that they are deeply attached to something or someone. Your child needs to know that something or someone important belongs to them. For example: the words ‘mummy’ and ‘papa’ drive a deep sense of fondness for their parents. They also need to know that the people and things that they are connected to are regarded highly by others. Helping your child feel connected to their own body and teaching them to trust their body is also important when you are trying to establish self-esteem.
Little steps that you can take
- Show affection through physical contact and positive facial expressions.
- Tell them with words that you feel good about them.
- Praise specifically. For example; Papa likes it when you talk nicely to your brother.
- Help your child understand the consequences of their behavior, especially when you see their positive behavior having a good effect on others around them.
- Share your feelings, your interests, hobbies, activities and family experiences with your little one.
- Listen to your kids without judging them.
- Do something for them to acknowledge their special needs or interests. For instance; letting your child attend the art classes that they express interest in.
Uniqueness
Having plenty of opportunities to be creative allows your child to learn to enjoy being different. It enhances their sense of uniqueness and self-respect. A sense of uniqueness means that they need to feel special and know that others think that they are special too.
Little steps that you can take
- Encourage them to express ideas that may be different from your own.
- Point out to them how special they are.
- Allow your kids to do things in their own way as much as possible and increase opportunities for them to express themselves creatively.
- Avoid ridiculing or shaming them.
- Help your child find acceptable ways to express themselves. For instance, let them know that drawing on the wall is not acceptable but they can always use the blackboard.
Power
Your little one should feel like they are in charge of what’s happening to them in their own little way. Help them feel like they can control what happens around them and certainly not feel overwhelmed. For instance:
Saniya’s doll’s eye gets stuck and won’t open anymore. Here, rather than fretting and crying, her reaction was a more controlled one. She simply asked her parents to see if it could be fixed.
Having self-control in their own little way is extremely helpful to them. The knowledge that they can do what they set out to do, while having a focus on the important things (in their life), will help them achieve a good sense of power.
Little steps that you can take
- Educate your child on the issues of personal responsibility. For instance; when they get angry let them know that they are personally responsible for how they feel and their behavior when angry.
- When planning activities for them, provide plenty of choices.
- Help them be aware of how they make decisions.
- Teach them better ways and alternatives to solve problems.
- Plan activities so your child has plenty of opportunities to experience success. When they show that they can do something well, allow them to do it.
- Help your child set limits for themselves and others.
Role modelling
When your child associates with a role model, they become more confident of their ability to differentiate between good and bad. Having a good role model serves a twofold purpose for your children: 1. They will be able to make sense of what is going on in their lives; 2. They will have certain standards by which their behavior at home and school can be evaluated. As a result, your little one will become conscious of what their goals are and then work towards them, building up their confidence as experience broadens. New experiences will no longer be intimidating.
Little steps that you can take
- Be a good role model for them. As a parent, you are someone that your child spends the most amount of time with, looks up to the most and in turn mimics the most. You must set the standard for how you want them to behave.
- Help them identify and understand the values they believe in and share your values with them.
- Help them set reasonable and achievable goals.
- Let them know your expectations and make reasonable performance standards clear.
- Help them broaden their range of experience.
Confident children usually grow up among people who are confident themselves. Give your children lots of love and remember to not try to live your lives through them! Give them the confidence that they need to explore the world around them.
